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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22428520">My All</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarelyPolitical/pseuds/BarelyPolitical'>BarelyPolitical</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Game of Thrones (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abusive Relationships, Corporal Punishment, Domestic Violence, F/F, Girl Penis, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:09:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,778</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22428520</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarelyPolitical/pseuds/BarelyPolitical</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don’t like to do this to you, baby. But you make me.” </p><p>“I know.” Was all Daenerys said.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sansa Stark/Daenerys Targaryen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>268</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a very dark fanfic about an abusive relationship. It contains domestic violence and non-consensual sex. </p><p>Please, don't read this if you are easily offended.</p><p>You've been warned!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Sansa, please, I’m sorry!” Daenerys begged, her eyes getting impossibly big as she shook in fear. </p><p>“You <em> will </em>be!” Sansa said, grabbing the small woman's hair and dragged her out of the room. </p><p>Daenerys winced and hissed in pain as her wife dragged her by the hair to their bedroom. She knew she shouldn’t have talked back to her when Sansa told her they were having lunch with her family the next day. She shouldn’t have said she had plans with her friends, she should have just nodded and pretended to be excited about it. </p><p>She knew better. </p><p>How could she have been so stupid? </p><p>Sansa pushed her hard, making Daenerys’ body fall to their bed. Daenerys’ eyes started watering when she saw the redhead taking off her belt. She knew what came next. Sansa wouldn’t hit her in the face –like she usually did– because they would go to the redhead’s parents’ house the next day and she didn’t want her family to see the bruises. She would use the belt instead and make sure Daenerys couldn’t sit for a week. </p><p>“Please, Sansa, you don’t have to do this.” Daenerys was already crying as she pleaded. </p><p>“And you don’t have to be a fucking dumb bitch and yet you are!” The tall redhead turned her over and pushed the blonde’s shorts and panties down. “I wouldn’t have to do this if you just kept your mouth shut!” </p><p>Daenerys screamed in pain as the rough belt hit her ass, hard. Sansa threw blow after blow, sucking the air from Daenerys’ lungs. The blonde woman cried and screamed, holding her pillow and using it to muffle her screams. She knew it would be worse if the neighbours heard her. </p><p>By the time Sansa finally stopped –and she only stopped when she tired herself out– Daenerys’ butt was bleeding a little and her pillow was completely wet from her tears. </p><p>“You make me do this to you!” Sansa said, throwing the belt to the floor and running her hands through her hair to calm herself down. “Stop crying!” She commanded. “I can’t stand your whining!” </p><p>Daenerys heard the sound of Sansa unzipping the fly of her jeans and she held the pillow tightly, bracing herself for what was to come. Sansa always got hard when she hit her and always fucked her afterwards. Daenerys only prayed her wife didn’t want her ass that night. </p><p>The redhead grabbed her wife’s hips and pulled Daenerys’ abused ass up. She lined up her cock to the blonde’s entrance and pushed it hard into Daenerys’ pussy –which wasn’t even half ready to take the big dick. Daenerys bit her lip hard to stop herself from screaming in pain. </p><p>“You’re not even wet for me. Useless bitch!” Sansa pushed her cock in and out of the blonde a couple times until she had to stop because her dick was starting to burn from the lack of lubrication. </p><p>She opened the first drawer of her night stand and pulled out the little bottle of lube. She squeezed some in her palm and coated her cock with it. Then she pushed her cock into Daenerys’ tight pussy again. This time, she groaned and moaned. Daenerys, on the other hand, continued crying. Now Sansa’s cock inside her didn’t hurt so much but every time Sansa’s hips hit her abused ass, it felt she was going to die. </p><p>“Say you like it!” Sansa commanded, pulling at her wife’s hair to look at her wet and red face. </p><p>“I like it.” Daenerys said, crying. </p><p>“Say it like you fucking mean it!” Sansa screamed and pulled harder at her hair, making Daenerys’ upper body almost touch hers and fucking the girl even harder.</p><p>Daenerys shut her eyes, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. “I love it. I-I love it, baby. I love it! I love you!” She cried because of the pain but she also cried because it was true. She did love Sansa. So much. </p><p>“That’s more like it.” Sansa let go of Daenerys’ hair and the tiny woman fell back on the mattress. Her upper body lying on the bed and her ass up the air, while she took every rough thrust. </p><p>Sansa fucked her for almost ten more minutes before she spilled her seed inside Daenerys’ abused pussy. Sansa’s body tensed as she came and then she relaxed, lying on top of her spent wife. Daenerys didn’t come but neither did she want to. Neither did Sansa care. </p><p>The redhead kissed and sucked the crying girl’s neck and then her shoulder and cheek, until she finally turned her head and kissed her soft plump lips. “I love you very much, you know that, don't you?” She whispered in the blonde’s lips. </p><p>Daenerys nodded. “I know.” She said, her voice hoarse from crying and screaming so much. </p><p>Sansa wiped away her wife’s tears, both her eyes and face softening. She always looked guilty afterwards, like she truly regretted what she did. It never stopped her from doing it again though. </p><p>“I don’t like to do this to you, baby. But you make me.” </p><p>“I know.” Was all Daenerys said. </p><p>Sansa held the blonde’s face in both hands. “Kiss me.”</p><p>And Daenerys did. They kissed for some seconds until Sansa pulled away. She got up and picked the small woman up, carrying her to the bathroom. </p><p>She bathed her and then she took care of her abused bottom, before putting her down on the bed and kissing her forehead. </p><p>“I love you, My All.” She whispered. </p><p>Daenerys felt like crying again. She wished she could have the Sansa who called her that for the first time back. “I love you too.” And although she did love Sansa –regardless of everything–, she didn’t find it in her to call her by any pet name. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They were having lunch with the Starks and Daenerys couldn’t stop squirming in her chair. No matter how much she tried, she just couldn’t find a good position to sit. Her ass hurt terribly from last night, even the contact of her panties and skirt against her skin hurt, leave alone sitting down on a hard chair. </p><p>“Someone had a good night, I see.” Robb teased, wrongly thinking that Daenerys’ pain were from a good night of fucking or sexual spanking when it really was from getting her ass brutally bruised by a belt.  </p><p>“Mind your fucking business, Robb!” Sansa spat at her brother. </p><p>“Language!” Catelyn reprimanded her daughter.</p><p>“I’ll watch my language when he watches what he says!” The redhead said to her mother, glaring at her older brother.</p><p>“For God’s sake, Sansa! I just couldn’t help but notice your wife is having a hard time sitting.” The oldest Stark sibling chuckled which infuriated Sansa even more.</p><p>“And you thought it would be funny to bring it up, asshole? You didn’t think you’d make my wife feel uncomfortable?” Sansa practically growled. </p><p>Robb furrowed his brow a little at Sansa’s attitude. He didn’t say anything to her but he did look at Daenerys with an apologetic look on his face. “I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, Dany. It wasn’t my intention.” </p><p>Daenerys shook it off. “It’s okay, Robb.” </p><p>Sansa glared at her. “No, it’s <em> not </em> okay. You <em> are </em>feeling uncomfortable by his stupid remarks, aren’t you? Then don’t say it’s okay!” </p><p>Daenerys shook a little, afraid that Sansa would take her to another room and hit her. “He apologized, Sansa.” She said in a small voice. </p><p>“You don’t have to accept his fucking apologies.” </p><p>“Sansa!” Her mother raised her voice. “Stop it. <em> You </em>are the one making her uncomfortable, don’t you see?” </p><p>Sansa glared at her mother for a second and then at her brother, before getting up and leaving the table and the room. Everyone was speechless and Daenerys was fearing what would happen once she and Sansa were alone. </p><p>“Maybe you should go talk to her and calm her down, dear.” Catelyn said, making Daenerys shake even more. She didn’t want to be alone with Sansa while the redhead was so upset. </p><p>Margaery was watching the whole scene from her seat next to her husband. She could see Daenerys shaking a little at the mention of going after Sansa and she also noticed the fear in her eyes. The girl was frightened! How come nobody noticed it? </p><p>“Dany,” She called, making Daenerys turn her head to look at her. “I’ll go, ok? Sansa and I have been friends for a very long time, I know how to calm her down.” </p><p>Daenerys gave her a look of gratitude and nodded. Margaery could see the blonde had tears in her eyes. She didn’t need to be a genius to know what was happening there.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“What did you do, Sansa?” Margaery asked her friend when she found the redhead smoking outside.</p><p>“Ask that to your husband, the idiot–” </p><p>“What did you do to your wife?” Margaery cut her off. </p><p>Sansa’s face hardened at Margaery’s words. She stared at the brunette like she wanted to tell her to go fuck herself but she didn’t. She was angry but there was something more, Margaery could tell. There was shame and guilt in Sansa’s eyes. Margaery knew what was going on, she didn’t need her friend to say it out loud. </p><p>“Was it the first time?” She asked directly. </p><p>Sansa winced and looked the other way, taking a long drag on her cigarette. She blew the smoke and looked down at the ground, finally shaking her head. </p><p>Now it was Margaery’s turn to harden her face. “Are you fucking serious?” She whisper-yelled. “Have you lost your mind?” </p><p>Sansa flicked the cigarette away and finally looked at Margaery. The brunette looked like she was two seconds away from slapping the shit out of her. And Sansa knew she deserved it. “I don’t do it because I want to, okay? I just… I can’t control myself!” </p><p>Margaery shook her head with an incredulous look on her face. “I can’t believe you! This is why you took her away from her abusive brother? Just so you could do it yourself?” The brunette spat. </p><p>“Lower your voice!” Sansa hissed. </p><p>Margaery let out a hollow laugh. “Oh, you don’t want your family to know the shit you do? You’re ashamed of them finding out but you’re not ashamed of raising your hand to her?” </p><p>“Mind your fucking business!” She told her friend, turning around to go back inside. </p><p>Margaery stopped her by grabbing her arm and making the redhead look at her. “I swear to God, Sansa, if I find out you laid a hand on her again, I’ll tell Robb and I’ll let him tell your parents!” </p><p>If the threat got to Sansa, she didn’t let it show. “I’ll keep that in mind.” She said sarcastically before going back inside. </p><p>Margaery couldn’t believe it. Sansa didn’t look like herself. The redhead had always been such a sweetheart, sure she could be cold and dry at times, but Margaery never thought she would be capable of doing such a thing. </p><p>She would try to knock some sense into her friend and find out what led her to behave like that but; most importantly; she would make sure to check on Daenerys more often and make sure the other girl was okay. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two weeks had gone by and Daenerys could finally sit down without wincing. </p><p>Sansa had been acting <span>differently</span> those last weeks and even though it was a good change, Daenerys still couldn’t find it in her to relax. Somehow, she was even more afraid when Sansa was in a good mood than when she was yelling at her all the time because she knew things could change at any time. She never knew when she could say something that set the redhead off. </p><p>It was exhausting to live like that. </p><p>But she couldn’t see herself living any other way. </p><p>Her brother always told her he loved her and he would hit her any chance he got. Sansa told her she loved her but she would raise a hand to her every chance she got. It was like love and violence were interconnected. </p><p>It was the only kind of love she knew. </p><p>And she knew she could get her stuff and leave but she knew she wouldn’t go far. Pathetic as it may sound, she knew she couldn't live without Sansa. She loved her so much that she was willing to spend weeks with yellow and purple bruises all over her body or without being able to sit down for almost a month if she could just have her. </p><p>“Dany, that’s not love, that’s obsession.” Margaery told her when they met for coffee last week. </p><p>Maybe she was right. Maybe it really was an obsession but that didn’t change the fact she needed Sansa like she needed the air to live. </p><p>It hurt to be with Sansa but she knew it would hurt a lot more to not be with her. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>She was cooking dinner when Sansa got home. </p><p>“Dany?” The redhead called from the hall. </p><p>“In the kitchen.” Daenerys responded. The fact that Sansa called her ‘Dany’ was a good indicator that she was in a good mood. </p><p>The redhead walked in the kitchen and held her wife from behind. “Hi, babe.” She said, kissing the blonde’s cheek.</p><p>“Hi,” Daenerys smiled at the feeling. “how was your day?” </p><p>“Not bad. Babe, stop cooking, I’m taking you out tonight. Put on your best dress because I’m taking you to the fanciest fucking restaurant in this city.” Sansa said with a wide smile, turning off the stove. </p><p>“What’s the occasion?” Daenerys asked, half expecting the question to offend Sansa but the redhead just turned her around and kissed her lips softly. </p><p>“Do I need a reason to take my beautiful, wonderful wife out?” </p><p><em>You kinda do if it’s something you never do.</em> Daenerys thought to herself but didn’t say anything. She just smiled and told Sansa she would get changed. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>True to her word, Sansa took Daenerys to the best restaurant in town. They ate seafood and drank some expensive white wine and then Sansa took her dancing. Daenerys couldn’t even remember the last time they did that. It was something they had stopped doing when Sansa realized Daenerys unintentionally drew too much attention to herself. Sansa was aware of how gorgeous her wife was and that every guy out there seemed to be on a mission to try to get a piece of her. It made her mad. </p><p>However, that night they had a good time. They danced and drank some and talked like they hadn’t talked in months. Daenerys was on cloud nine. It felt like having the old Sansa back and she wished that night would never end. </p><p>They had sex when they got home. Sansa was gentle and focused on giving Daenerys pleasure rather than getting pleasure from her. It felt great to make love again. Daenerys wished it could be like that everyday. </p><p>“I love you, My All.” Sansa whispered in her ear after coming inside her. “Don’t leave me.” Daenerys never heard Sansa sound so vulnerable. “Please, don’t ever leave me.” </p><p>Daenerys cried in silence. If only Sansa knew she would rather kill herself than leave her… </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Of course that day was nothing but an oasis. </p><p>Sansa was just worried Daenerys would follow Margaery’s advice and leave but as soon as she realized her wife wouldn’t do that, things went back to how they used to be. </p><p>A bad day at work was all it took for the redhead to take out her frustrations on her. And of course it was Daenerys fault for asking. If she hadn’t asked, then it would still be her fault for not asking. It was always her fault, no matter what. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Let me see.” Sansa said, holding her chin and turning her head to look at her face. </p><p>The next day, Daenerys had spent at least two hours covering up the bruises on her cheek with make-up. She did it so many times that she had become a pro. The only people who could tell there were bruises underneath it were the people who knew she was most likely to have bruises. It used to be only Missandei, her best friend and the only person with whom Daenerys felt comfortable sharing it, and now Margaery knew too. </p><p>Sansa never cared so much if she did a good job covering the bruises or not before, but now that Margaery knew, Daenerys figured her wife was afraid the brunette would tell her family. </p><p>Sansa smiled. “Beautiful.” </p><p>Daenerys didn’t feel beautiful. She never felt beautiful anymore. She felt worthless and next to nothing more. But she smiled, like always, pleased to please Sansa. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“What will you have?” Sansa asked her, eyeing the menu. </p><p>“Whatever you’re having.” Daenerys responded. She wasn’t even hungry. </p><p>It seemed to be a new habit of Sansa’s to take her out after hitting her. One that Daenerys didn’t like. She enjoyed it the first time but now it just seemed forced and she didn’t feel comfortable at all. </p><p>“Are you really this fucking useless that you can’t even choose a dish?” Sansa said, keeping her voice down so only Daenerys could hear her. </p><p>Granted, Sansa wasn’t even trying. </p><p>“I’m just not hungry.” <em>And my face hurts.</em> She added inside her head. </p><p>Sansa put the menu down, her eyes boring into Daenerys. “You could at least try to pretend you enjoy spending time with me.” </p><p>Daenerys could feel her anxiety grow stronger.</p><p>“I do enjoy spending time with you, Sansa. I’m just not hungry.” She said calmly.</p><p>Sansa nodded, getting up. “Let’s go then.” She said and then she turned around and walked out of the restaurant, leaving Daenerys to do the same. </p><p><em>Fuck, fuck, fuck.</em> Was all Daenerys could think as she followed her wife back to the car. <em>Why didn’t I just choose something and kept my mouth shut?</em> She thought as she got in the car. </p><p>Sansa didn’t say a word until they got home. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>They got home and Sansa sat on the couch. </p><p>“Go on, show me how much you like to spend time with me.” Sansa’s voice was as cold as her blue eyes.</p><p>Not really knowing what to do, Daenerys sat on the tall redhead's lap and kissed her. She did her best to give her a passionate kiss but Sansa wasn’t kissing her back. </p><p>“I’m waiting, babe.” Sansa said in a monotone. </p><p>Daenerys frowned a little. What did Sansa want? </p><p>She decided to skip foreplay and just kneel between Sansa’s legs. She was about to open her pants when she heard the redhead laughing. </p><p>“Are you going to suck my dick, is that so?” Sansa shook her head. </p><p>“I don’t know what you want me to do.” Daenerys finally said. </p><p>“I wanted you to sit on your ass and have fucking lunch with me but you didn’t feel like, right? But you did say you enjoy spending time with me so I gave you the chance to prove it and what do you do? You just try to suck me off. Do you even like it?” </p><p>“Yes.” <em>Except when you shove it down my throat like you’re trying to kill me with it. </em></p><p>Sansa laughed again but there was no humor whatsoever. “Are you trying to convince me that having my cock inside your mouth is an enjoyable way for you to spend time with me?” </p><p>This time, Daenerys chose not to say anything. She knew Sansa wasn’t done talking. </p><p>“Because I’m sure any other girl out there would want to cuddle on the couch and watch a rom com or whatever. But I guess that’s all you’re good for, right? Sucking cock and being an ungrateful little bitch!” </p><p>Sansa shoved her, making Daenerys fall on her ass and elbows, and then she got up. She grabbed her keys and left. </p><p>Daenerys sat there on the floor and hit her head a couple times as she cried. Why did she always have to fuck up? Sansa was right, she really was useless. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I met a woman last year…” </p><p>Sansa stopped in mid-sentence. </p><p>She rubbed her sweaty hands on her jeans and looked away from the therapist. It was only her second session and she was already regretting the decision of seeing a shrink. </p><p>Actually, it wasn’t really a decision of hers. It was more like an ultimatum from Margaery ‘I can’t stay out of other people’s business’ Tyrell. </p><p>“Since you won’t tell me what the hell happened to you, then you’ll see a therapist and get help.” Her friend told her as she threw her wife’s clothes on a suitcase. “And you better put some real effort into getting better if you want to save your marriage. I’ll tie Daenerys to the bed if I have to but I’m not letting her come back to you until you get your shit together!” </p><p>Sansa wanted nothing but to kill her at that moment. </p><p>She took Daenerys away from her. What right did she think she had to do it? </p><p>When Sansa got home that evening, Daenerys was nowhere to be found. An hour or so later, Margaery got there, letting her know her wife was staying with her and Robb. She told her she had called to check on Daenerys and that her wife broke down on the phone. And Margaery, being Margaery, went to their house and basically forced Daenerys to leave with her. </p><p>“Does Robb know?” Sansa asked her when the brunette was done talking.</p><p>“Really? Is that all you care about? Do you even care about your wife at all?” Margaery shot daggers at her. “Of course you don’t, if you did care, you wouldn’t hurt her.”</p><p>Sansa saw red. </p><p>“You have no idea how I feel about her! I love her more than anyone and anything in this fucking world!” </p><p>Margaery let out a hollow laugh. “You keep telling that to yourself.” She shook her head. “But no, Robb doesn’t know. I told him you guys had a fight. I didn’t do it for you though, I did it for Dany, because she begged me to. Get help, Sansa. I’m serious, I’ll do everything in my power to convince her to leave you for good if you don’t change.” </p><p>And then she left. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>This was harder than she first expected. </p><p>She was opening up to a complete stranger and was about to tell her something she never told anyone. She told the therapist about the things she did to her wife on her first session, which was something she was very ashamed of, and it was so hard… Now this; actually talking about the reason why she had become this person; was even harder. </p><p>“Tell me about this woman. Did you have a–” </p><p>Sansa cut the doctor off before she could finish the sentence. “No! No, nothing like that. I would never cheat on my wife.”</p><p>The therapist nodded, writing something on her notebook. “Okay. Then who is this woman? Tell me about her.” </p><p>Sansa swallowed hard before she started talking. “I met her last year, she’s a client of mine. Very wealthy, very powerful woman, whose name I obviously can’t tell you…” </p><p>She made a short pause. She wasn’t proud of anything she was about to tell that middle-aged woman. </p><p>“One night, she invited me to her place to seal the deal we had been working on for some weeks. At first, everything was quite ordinary. We had dinner, the both of us and her girlfriend; who was much younger than her, I don’t know if it matters but… Anyway, we ate, we drank wine, we talked business and the weather…”</p><p>Another pause. </p><p>She took a deep breath and drank some water before <span>continuing. </span></p><p>“Then, at some point, her girlfriend said something that I can’t remember and she… She just slapped her right there, right in front of me, as if it was the most normal thing to do. I was shocked; of course; but not only because of the slap but because of how they both acted like nothing happened afterwards. She continued talking about what we were talking about before she did it and her girlfriend continued drinking her wine as if nothing.” </p><p>Sansa was expecting the therapist to say something or ask her something but when she stopped talking, the doctor just told her to keep going. </p><p>She sighed tiredly. It had been days since she had a good night’s sleep. Ever since Daenerys left, she had been a mess and couldn’t get any rest. It was hard to fall asleep without her wife’s body next to hers. </p><p>She rubbed her tired eyes and continued. “We finished dinner and her girlfriend left. I was bold enough to ask her about that slap, even if it meant I could lose one of my best clients.” Sansa finally looked back at the therapist. “She laughed. She laughed and shook her head and she said ‘What about it?’ and she shrugged her shoulders, like it was literally nothing. Like she hadn’t done anything wrong. I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything…” </p><p>She drank some water, finishing the bottle. She ran her fingers through her hair and continued. </p><p>“A few minutes later, her girlfriend came back to tell her she was off to bed and she just kissed her and told her ‘I love you’. And you should see the way she looked at her… that woman had just slapped her in front of a stranger and she just kissed her and told her she loved her, and she looked at her like she was some kind of… God.” </p><p>The therapist finally said opened her mouth again. “Are you okay? Do you think you can tell me the rest of it?” </p><p>Sansa sat straight on her chair and nodded. “Yes, I… just need a minute.” She put her hand in her pocket, looking for her cigarettes. “Can I smoke here?” The doctor shook her head no and Sansa sighed, putting it back in her pocket. </p><p>She just stayed in silence for over a minute. </p><p>“Maybe… maybe we should leave the rest for my next session.” She said, standing up and walking to the door. </p><p>“We still have twenty minutes to go.” The therapist said.</p><p>Sansa didn’t respond, she opened the door and left the office. She couldn’t do it. She needed a cigarette, no, she needed a whole pack! She couldn’t go through that shit without lots of nicotine in her system.  </p><p>Truth be told, she wasn’t ready to go through that shit. Period. </p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Are you ready to talk about it now?” The therapist’s voice made Sansa sigh deeply. </p><p>She came back because she had to, not because she wanted to. She came back because it had been two months now and Daenerys still hadn’t come home and she wouldn’t until Sansa did this, Margaery would make sure of that, that much Sansa knew. </p><p>Sansa had come to hate Margaery with a passion, friend or not, she had no right to intrude like that. She had no right to take Daenerys away and decide what was best for her wife like she was a child. She had no right to fill Daenerys’ head with stupid ideas, stupid ideas like not coming back to her or asking for a divorce. </p><p>After two months, it became clear to the family that whatever happened between them hadn’t been a simple fight. Daenerys wouldn’t have stayed with Margaery and Robb for so long if it had been just a fight. Her mother started asking questions, at first they were sporadic; <em>why didn’t Daenerys come with you? Is everything okay between you and Daenerys?</em> Then they became constant when she found out Daenerys was staying at Margaery’s and Robb’s; <em>What happened? What did you do? How long has she been staying with them? Why didn’t you tell me anything?</em> </p><p>Even her own mother knew it had to her fault her wife left. </p><p>Sansa had to sit and endure a painful and awful conversation with her father the day after her mother told him Daenerys left. Ned told her all about how a marriage had its' ups and downs and how he knew it wasn’t easy sometimes but how every problem could be solved with patience and love. Good old honorable Ned… hypocrite. </p><p>“And how do I solve it, dad? By having a bastard with some other woman, maybe?” She pushed the knife. “And then I can bring him over for Christmas and see how it breaks my wife’s heart and how she takes it for the sake of the perfect family.” Then she twisted it. “And I can stay and pretend I still love her because I’m too much of a coward to leave. Is that your recipe for a successful marriage?” </p><p>Her father’s face hardened at her words. It was never easy to hear the truth. “Don’t call your brother that.” </p><p>His answer caused a sarcastic laugh to escape her lips. “Half-brother. And it wasn’t my intention to offend you or your favorite kid, father.” No, her intention was to call out on her father’s bullshit.</p><p>Sansa was exhausted. She had to deal with her mother’s never ending interrogation, Margaery’s bitching, Daenerys’ giving her the cold shoulder and her father’s bullshit. And now she had to talk about stuff she just wanted to leave behind with a total stranger. </p><p>“I met her a few weeks later for business purposes.” Sansa continued, as if it hadn’t been almost two months since she last sat in that office and talked to the shrink. “But this time, we met at a club. The place was quite ordinary, nothing too remarkable about it. Typical popular club, with a typical vip lounge for the rich and famous. It’s not unusual for people like her to choose clubs or bars to talk business, most of them have drinking problems and feel more comfortable talking over many glasses of whatever. In her case it was bottles of the best wine money can buy.” </p><p>A pause. </p><p>Sansa was quite sure that all of that wasn’t relevant, she was just beating around the bush. She sighed. She had already told this woman the things she did to Daenerys, she didn’t even know why she was so hesitant about telling her how it all started. </p><p>She continued.</p><p>“And again, her girlfriend was there. Her girlfriend was always with her, at home, in her office, at the club. Always following her around like a lost puppy, like she didn’t know what to do with herself when my client wasn’t there. And my client loved it, it pleased her to have a dependent girlfriend, someone who worshipped her, someone submissive who she could boss around and who no matter how badly she treated her, was always there. At first I thought it was toxic because, well, it was. I felt uncomfortable around them but… enthralled at the same time. And as the night went on and I watched their interaction… I’m not proud to say that deep down I found myself wanting that. Wanting what she had, what they had. Wanting that kind of power over someone who I knew was as devoted to me as that woman was to my client. I knew my wife loved me deeply and I found myself wondering just how deep her love was. Was it strong enough to let me have full control over her? Because I obviously seeked that control if I was thinking about it in the first place. And the thought of having her at my will like that…” She made a short pause, before finishing the sentence. “gave me an erection.” </p><p>Sansa looked ashamed as she rubbed her palms on her beige chino pants. “I got hard thinking about hurting my wife and treating her like my property.” She shook her head and let out a hollow laugh. “How fucked up is that?” The question was rhetorical and she continued. “You want power? Start by having it at home. That’s what she told me that night when her girlfriend left the room to use the restroom. She could see how power hungry I was back then, I always thought it was just professionally but I was clearly wrong. And she seemed to know it.”</p><p>
  <strong>Flashback</strong>
</p><p>“I see you’re married.” Cersei said, looking at Sansa’s wedding ring on her finger. “Does your wife respect you?”</p><p>“She does.” Sansa said as she sat there uncomfortably, hiding her erection with her briefcase. </p><p>“Who wears the pants in your house?” The older woman asked as she brought the glass of wine up to her lips for a sip. </p><p>“We both—” </p><p>“Wrong answer, little dove.” She cut Sansa off before the redhead could really say anything. Sansa clenched her jaw at the nickname. “The only right answer here is “Me”. And by wearing the pants and I don’t mean having the last word, I mean having the only word. You can’t be a shark if you’re a dolphin. Power is not to be shared, if you do; then you don’t have any power at all. That’s how it works in business and that’s how it works at home.” The blonde drank some more wine and smirked. “But you have potential, Sansa Stark. You are young, you will learn.” </p><p>
  <strong>End of Flashback<br/></strong>
</p><p>“I know what you’re thinking. That I’m an asshole, that I’m an idiot who wanted to imitate some business woman’s behavior to feel like I am somebody. And you’re right.” <strong><br/></strong></p><p>“I’m not here to judge. I’m here to help.” The therapist said, putting her notebook down. </p><p>Sansa rolled her eyes. “But that’s what you’re thinking, and you’re right. I am an asshole and I was an idiot for taking that road. And now I’ve lost the best thing that ever happened to me. I broke her and I lost her.” She could hear the anger in her own voice. “How can I have her back?”</p><p>“That’s not what you should be worrying about right now. You have to focus on your therapy first, on working on your issues. It’s important that she does the same and only then the two of you can try counseling and—”</p><p>Another sarcastic laugh. “And hopefully she’ll come back home before I’m fifty.” Sansa spat. </p><p>She didn’t want to wait so long to have Daenerys back. She was so fucked up, it would take forever for that stuck up doctor to fix her head. She could work on that but not if she didn’t have Daenerys by her side. She couldn’t.</p><p>She wouldn’t. </p>
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